147 Days
by Epiphany
Summary: Takes place after Wrecked. On a mission from Dawn, Spike checks in on an ailing Buffy. She asks him to tell her what the gang was up to during the summer of 2001. Buffybot cameo!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One: White Lie  
  
Buffy wearily pushed open the front door of her house. She leaned against the door for a moment as she shut it behind her, willing the pain radiating from the base of her skull away. It took her a full thirty seconds to shrug off her coat and sit gingerly on the couch.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn called from the top of the stairs. Buffy winced as she heard her little sister take the steps two at a time, each step echoing in her head.  
  
"Yeah?" she called out, straightening out her form on the edge of the couch.  
  
"Hey!" Dawn said brightly. "How was your day?"  
  
Buffy immediately grew suspicious. "What did you break?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing!" Dawn held her hands up. Her left arm was clad in a colorful purple cast, the only injury still visible from the car accident she and Willow had two weeks ago. "I was just wondering what kind of day you had because last week when I asked if I could sleep over at Madison's tonight, you said to ask you in another week and pray that you has a good day." Dawn said brightly.  
  
Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. That's right. Dawn did ask, and she did say she'd think about it.  
  
"Where does this girl live?" Buffy asked.  
  
"One street over, eight houses down. I left the address on the counter, and the number where you can reach me." Dawn skipped over and gave her sister an impromptu hug. She leapt back in surprise when she felt Buffy wince in pain.  
  
"Hey!" Dawn held Buffy at arm's length and looked into her eyes. "You flinched. Are you okay?" concern etched into her young face.  
  
"Yeah, just a headache." Buffy said carelessly. At the stricken look in Dawn's face, she quickly added "Xander got in a few lucky punches when we were training. Nothing my super healing powers can't cure."  
  
"Yeah, whatever, Wolverine." Dawn sighed. "I can stay home, if you want. I always took care of mom when she-" Dawn trailed off, letting her hands drop to her side.  
  
Buffy stood and put her arms around her little sister. "I got kicked in the head. That's all." She looked into Dawn's tearful eyes. "Two aspirin, a medium cheese pizza and 'The Truth about Cats and Dogs' in the video player and I'm good as new. Promise."  
  
"What about Willow?" Dawn asked quietly, making it clear she didn't like the idea of Buffy being alone in the house with Willow.  
  
"Willow went away for the weekend, some collegian thing." Buffy smiled.  
  
"Willow's having fat cells implanted in her lips?" Dawn asked, a puzzled expression on her face.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "That's collagen. Willow's doing something for college this weekend. Some career fair event."  
  
"Oh!" Dawn smiled and wiped away her tears. "Okay. But I can stay, if you want."  
  
"I never actually said you could go," Buffy needled. "but if you leave right now, you can get to your party before sunset."  
  
Dawn hugged her sister with a squeal. "Ooh! Thank you! Thank you! I'll be home tomorrow morning!" Dawn dashed up the stairs to grab her back pack and CD's.  
  
Buffy smiled and headed to the downstairs bathroom. There was some ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet. She felt mildly guilty for lying to Dawn. This headache came out of nowhere, just like the one last week. The one last week had lingered for hours, and Buffy had just lain in her bed in a fetal position, willing the pain away. This one didn't seem to be shaping up any better. She vaguely wondered if they had any vodka lying around as she swallowed the pain medication.  
  
Dawn reappeared behind Buffy. "Okay, I'm off. Are you going to patrol tonight?"  
  
"Nah, activity has been way down lately. I can take the night off." Buffy walked into the kitchen. Dawn could see the way her sister held her shoulders a little too tense.  
  
'Kicked in the head, my foot' Dawn thought.  
  
"Call me when you get there, so I don't worry?" she asked.  
  
"Sure. Go call the pizza guy and lie down." Dawn paused, her words registering when spoken outloud. "Wait. That came out wrong."  
  
"Go. Have fun." Buffy pushed Dawn out the door. Call the pizza guy and lie down? Where did she pick up such dirty thoughts? Her memory flashed back to the time she caught Dawn in Spike's crypt, talking. Buffy frowned. "Figures." She managed to get through the whole day without thinking about Spike. She winced again, the pain in her head creeping back. 


	2. Dawn's Mission

Chapter 2: Dawn's Mission  
  
Dawn mentally calculated how long it would take her to run over to Spike's crypt. She figured she could make it there in about ten minutes. It would take about two seconds to convince Spike to pay a visit on her sister, and another fifteen minutes to run to Madison's and call Buffy.  
  
She dashed down the familiar streets of her neighborhood and ran through a worn path through a park that was a shortcut to the cemetery Spike lived in. Twenty five minutes to call? Would Buffy buy it? The walk was only about five minutes from her house. But then, Dawn could always say she got caught up in conversation with her friends. Six fifteen year old girls in the same room. It was bound to happen. In fact, Buffy would probably expect her to call late, because after all, it's Dawn. The thought cheered her up a little.  
  
She ran through the small patch of woods and saw the outskirts of the familiar cemetery. She could have run this path blindfolded. Buffy had no idea how much time she spent at Spike's crypt during the summer. Somehow, she thought that Buffy wouldn't take the news very well.  
  
The entrance to the crypt was just in view. The sun was making it's final decent across the horizon, casting long shadows over the gloomy graveyard. She would have shivered, if she weren't so at home here.  
  
"Spike!" she called out, banging on the door. She leaned against the frame, coughing and trying to catch her breath. "Spike!" she called again.  
  
She heard muted footsteps running quickly for the door. The door opened faster than Dawn expected, and she was thrown off balance.  
  
"Dawn!" Spike caught her in his arms and quickly ushered her inside. "What's happened? Are you hurt?" he visually inspected her, checking for any sign of injury.  
  
"I'm - I'm fine." Dawn gasped. "Just running. Fast. Here. Guess I should give up smoking, huh?" she laughed.  
  
Spike straightened and ran a hand through his hair. "Don't ever. EVER panic me like that again. Nearly started my heart." He muttered. "Why are you here?" he asked, hoping he came across as annoyed, but knowing the younger Summers would hear only concern.  
  
"I'm going to a slumber party." Dawn began.  
  
Spike laughed. "What? Going to tell ghost stories with your little girlfriends? Tying to scare each other by candlelight? Want me to be your personal boogey man, is that it?" he asked. Actually, the thought was rather intriguing. Scaring a group of fifteen year old girls clad in nothing but their nighties? He could think of worse things to be doing on a Friday night. Scaring Dawn's friends. Dawn would be there. The thought ended quickly.  
  
"No. I'm going to be gone all night, and so is Willow. Buffy's not feeling well."  
  
"Oh? Did somebody give her nibs a taste of her own bloody medicine?" Spike sniped.  
  
"She said Xander kicked her in the head a few times when they were training, but I don't believe her. She's never had a headache, and Xander hurt her? I mean, come on, please. That's like saying Superman was beat up by Jimmy Olsen."  
  
"Headache?" Spike repeated. He had been prepared to continue his rant on the slayer until he saw the haunted look in Dawn's eyes. A look he knew far too well. Dawn nodded.  
  
"I'm just worried about her being all alone tonight. I mean, she never gets headaches, and this is how mom started and it scares me." Dawn finished in one breath.  
  
"Dawn," Spike said seriously. "What happened to your mum was a one in a million chance. Buffy just has a headache. That's all, pet. I'll go check on her, if you want me to."  
  
"Why did she lie?" she asked.  
  
"Probably because she doesn't want you to worry. That's all, love. Now, I'll walk you to your party and then I'll pay a visit on your sister."  
  
"Thanks, Spike. I knew I could count on you." Dawn leaned over and gave Spike a quick kiss on the cheek. "Sun's just about down. Let's go."  
  
Spike grabbed his duster from the chair in the living room and set off after Dawn. He had been avoiding Buffy as much as possible these days. It had been over two weeks since they had literally rocked the house down. He had been steering clear of the slayer since then, her words from their last conversation echoing in his mind. If she thought for one second that he was going to crawl after her like some sort of big girl's blouse, she could bloody well take that thought and shove it straight up her-  
  
"Haven't seen you much lately," Dawn commented as they walked down the quiet streets of Sunnydale. Rivello Drive was two blocks up. They turned left at the next street.  
  
"Yeah, been busy. I figured you guys would want to do a little woman estrogen bonding thing. How's the arm?" Spike looked down at the purple plaster encasing her left arm. He reached into his coat and pulled out a cigarette.  
  
"Doesn't really hurt anymore, and there has been no estrogen bonding. I haven't spoken to Willow since that night."  
  
"You know that Willow was out of control, right?" Spike stopped walking and turned to face her. "What's important is that her friends stick by her. Addiction is not a pretty thing, and it's scary to face it alone."  
  
"I know, but it doesn't mean I'm not angry. I mean, no one forced her to do magic, right? She learned and she got better and stronger - she did this to herself. Why should I feel sorry for her?" Dawn's voice took on a sharp tone.  
  
"Because she didn't know the danger of getting in over her head. Or maybe she knew but thought she could handle it. Point is, you can't abandon her. She could get worse and the next time she goes on a happy trip, someone could get killed."  
  
"You sound like you're speaking from experience." Dawn commented, her voice calming down a bit.  
  
"Believe me, these aren't experiences I would care to repeat." Spike said darkly.  
  
Dawn averted her gaze and stared down the street. "I'll think about it." She said.  
  
The smile that Spike felt form itself on his face took him by surprise. He felt good, he thought with mild astonishment. He was helping his friend, and he felt good about it. He inhaled another puff on the cigarette.  
  
They walked in silence until they reached the front door of her friend's house.  
  
"Okay, then, have fun, bit." Spike smiled and waved Dawn off.  
  
"I gotta call Buffy and let her know I'm here. Remember, I disavow any knowledge of your actions tonight. Buffy would kill me if she knew I got you to check up on her." Dawn called from the door as Spike headed down the driveway. The front door opened and three teenage girls whisked Dawn inside.  
  
"Bloody bugger," Spike hissed, tossing away his cigarette. He was perfectly happy continuing to pretend to ignore Buffy just as much as she was pretending to ignore him. If he had been the one all head achy, he doubted very much Buffy would come running to his side. She hadn't before. He muttered an oath and swaggered off down the street. 


	3. Since When Have You Been a Scooby?

Chapter Three: Since When Have You Been a Scooby?  
  
The familiar Summers house loomed before him. Spike didn't realize how quickly he made the distance, didn't even pay attention to the route he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts. His feet found their own way. How many nights had he practically camped out under the tree in her front yard, just hoping for a glimpse of the woman he both loathed and loved?  
  
Sighing unnecessarily, Spike walked up the front path and knocked on the door. He waited a few moments and tried again.  
  
"Buffy?" he called. Frowning now, he tried the door. The handle turned and the door opened in, revealing the foyer and staircase. Spike slipped in and peeked around the corner. "Buffy? Slayer, you here?"  
  
"Humm. Here." A tired voice called from the living room. Spike entered the darkened room. Buffy was sprawled out on the couch, head propped up on a pillow. A warm cloth draped over her eyes. "Zat you, Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me. Thought I'd see if you were up for patrol, but I see I caught you on a bad night." He said quietly, taking the few steps to cross the room and stand before the couch.  
  
"My head hurts," Buffy whimpered beneath the cloth.  
  
This was not at all what he expected. His instinct to protect overrode his instinct to kick her while she was down. He knelt down put a tentative hand on her forehead. Buffy flinched but did not pull away. Spike began to stroke her head.  
  
"mmm, thanks," she sighed. She reached up and pulled the cloth from her eyes. Spike's worried face swam into view.  
  
"I could hear the pressure in your head from across the room. That's one doozy of a migraine. I know how that feels. Nasty, eh?" he asked.  
  
"I can't make it stop." She moaned. Her brows knit, suddenly realizing who she was talking to. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Spike removed his hand from her head and sat back on the coffee table. "Wanted to see if you were up for patrol. Haven't seen much of you these past couple weeks."  
  
"And you're complaining? What happened to having your rocks back?" Buffy asked, sitting up and giving him a dirty look.  
  
"Look, I'm not here to bloody well pick a fight with you. Been there. Done that. Got the sodding t-shirt. I felt like a bit of a rumble, wanted to see if you wanted to come with. You're not feeling well, forgive me for showing a little compassion. Comrades in arms and all that." Spike stood and headed for the front door.  
  
"Spike, wait." Buffy called, struggling to her feet. Her face contorted in pain and she lifted a hand to her head. Spike stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight, either. My head is really killing me, and I just want to get rid of this headache. Can we patrol tomorrow night?" she asked.  
  
"Sure. In the mean time," Spike said as he took off his jacket. "You are under my care. The girls are out and you shouldn't be alone. You can barely walk."  
  
"No, no, I'm fine." Buffy protested weakly. "How did you know Dawn and Willow are gone?"  
  
Spike thought quickly. "Can't hear their heartbeats." He said quickly. "Go sit down. I'll order us in a pizza and wings. Have you taken anything for the pain?"  
  
Buffy slowly made her way back to the couch and sat down. "I took some ibuprofen about a half hour ago."  
  
Spike made a face. "Ibuprofen? Hogswallop. You need a strong cup of tea. That's what me mum always made." Spike headed off to the kitchen. He picked up the phone and Buffy could hear him ordering a large cheese pizza and a large order of spicy buffalo wings.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes. There was no way she was getting rid of him now. But deep inside, she was glad he was here. She did miss him these past two weeks. Going out on patrol wasn't nearly as fun without a sparring partner.  
  
Ten minutes later, Spike brought in two steaming mugs of tea. He set them down on the coffee table in front of her and sat down in the arm chair across from the couch.  
  
"I added a few herbs - noticed you were plenty stocked. The chamomile will help release the pressure. The pain is in the base of your skull, right?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, how did you know?" Buffy's eyebrows rose in surprise.  
  
"Your shoulders are very tense and your carrying them a little higher than usual. Your neck muscles are wound tighter than a violin bow. I can see your pulse in your neck."  
  
Buffy's hand involuntarily went to her throat as she regarded Spike with a wide eyed expression. She wordlessly took a sip of her tea and looked down at the coffee table.  
  
Spike chuckled. "That's not what I'm thinking," he said softly.  
  
"How did you learn to make this?" she asked as she sipped at the spicy tea. The heated liquid seemed to warm her up from the insides. She could feel the tension in her neck slowly ebbing away.  
  
"Tara taught me a few months back. Got sick of me complaining about the lousy American tea, so she showed me a Chinese blend." Spike said conversationally. "Makes the blood taste like licorice."  
  
"You hang out with Tara?" Buffy's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Well, yeah, Scoobie meetin's an all." Spike looked uncomfortable.  
  
"Since when have you been a Scooby?" Buffy asked incredulously.  
  
Spike narrowed his eyes. "Since you asked me to look after Dawn." He said with finality. They stared at each other for several long moments. Finally, Spike set his tead down and broke the silence. "Look, whether you want to admit it or not, I do consider you and the Scoobies my friends, and I look after my friends, all right? That's all." He reached for his tea and took a long swallow, the heat of the liquid not bothering him in the least. "If you would come off your high horse for a moment, you might realize that it's okay to let someone take care of you every once in a while."  
  
Buffy set the mug down and clasped her hands together. "I am not on a high horse. It's more like a pedestal that rises above eye level. But, I guess for tonight, I can meet you halfway."  
  
Spike smiled. He watched Buffy wrap her arms behind her head and rub at the knots in her neck. Spike was torn between staying in his seat and walking over to offer her comfort. He was saved from that decision by the doorbell.  
  
"Food's here." He said brightly. "You got any money?"  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Joke. I got money. Stole it from Xander." He said as he walked to the door. 


	4. We're Both British and Get the Humor

Chapter Four - We're Both British and Get the Humor  
  
"Tell you what. Let's pop a movie in the video machine and work on getting rid of that headache." Spike said as he drank the last of the blood in his mug. Willow always made sure to have a few extra pints in the fridge for him. Spike stood up from the kitchen table and began to clear away the paper plates and napkins scattered about.  
  
"Food helped, and so did the tea. I think I can walk without feeling every step I take thunder through my brain." Buffy replied as she gingerly stood. Spike reached over and laid a supporting hand on her elbow. He didn't even realize he had done it until Buffy cleared her throat and looked down at his hand wrapped around her elbow. Spike dropped her arm quickly and wordlessly walked into the living room. Buffy rolled her eyes. The gesture was - gallant. And charming. Something an eighteenth century gentleman would do. Not Spike. Her mind simply refused to reconcile the two different aspects of the man.  
  
Buffy followed Spike into the living room and watched as he reached for the rental movie on top of the entertainment unit. He held it out for inspection. "The Truth About Cats and Dogs." He read. "A documentary?" he asked.  
  
"A chick flick. About a woman who meets the man of her dreams, but he thinks she looks like someone else. Wackiness ensues." Buffy explained as she got comfortable on the couch.  
  
Spike popped the movie in the VCR and pushed the play button. "So, I'm taking care of you, agreed?" he asked as he turned around.  
  
"Until my headache goes away." Buffy amended quickly.  
  
"Fine. Budge up." He said, pushing her down further on the couch.  
  
"What? Spike, what are you doing?" Buffy exclaimed as Spike pushed her out of her seat. He grabbed the pillow and put it on his chest.  
  
"Neck massage. Standard headache treatment." He said as he pulled her against his chest.  
  
"This really isn't - oh!" Buffy exclaimed as Spike's cool hands found their way to a sore spot on her neck. His long, lean fingers massaged her neck muscles in strong, tension relieving strokes. Each caress magically erasing the pain.  
  
"Hmmm. Never mind." Buffy purred, enjoying the relaxing ministrations of Spike's clever hands. Oh, did he have great hands. Buffy allowed herself to remember the things those clever hands did to her two weeks ago.  
  
The movie started and Spike tried to pay attention. He didn't get it at all. Why was this bloke, Brian, even interested in Noelle? She was a pithy, vacuous emotionally vacant woman with poor taste in men. He couldn't see that Abby was the one he was looking for his whole life? Bloody poofter.  
  
"How's Willow then?" Spike asked halfway through the movie.  
  
"She's dealing. She's throwing herself back into her academics to keep away from the magics. It's going to take some time." Buffy said. Spike was no longer massaging her neck, but absently stroking her hair. It felt wonderful. Buffy's headache was nearly gone.  
  
"She'll come out just fine. She has no choice with the likes of you and Xander on her side."  
  
"Yeah, I can't help but feel guilty though," Buffy continued. "If I needed help with something, I asked Willow to do a spell. It was her identity within the Scoobies. Now, that's taken away from her and she feels less important."  
  
Spike thought about that for a moment. It was true, each Scooby had their role within the group. Willow was no longer "The Witch". "Well, speaking from experience, I know how hard that can be. Thinking your one person and then waking up one day to discover your whole life has changed without your consent."  
  
Buffy remained silent. "And you did everything in your power to try to change that. Including selling us out to Adam and kidnapping that doctor." She reminded him.  
  
"Right, point is, we don't want to see Red follow that path, right? She was always good with research and using the computer and stuff, the trick is to convince her that those skills are just as important as her spells were. You got by before she learned magic, right? You'll get by again."  
  
"I know. It'll be tough, especially if Dawn doesn't come around. I'm trying not to push her, but she's still really ticked off at Willow."  
  
"She'll come around. It just takes kids longer to see other perspectives." Spike continued stroking Buffy's hair.  
  
"Spike? What happened while I was gone?" Buffy asked quietly. "Everyone is so careful to avoid mentioning the summer. I was gone for nearly five months. I get the feeling that things happened, important things."  
  
"Like what?" Spike asked, cocking his head and looking down at her.  
  
"Well, before I died, you were still working on your own, helping out only when we paid you. You made no secret of the fact that you hated us, and the feeling was mutual. Nowadays, it's like you're a part of the group. I mean, here you are, asking me how Willow is doing and offering advice. My friends have accepted you as one of their own. I even caught you and Giles trading nudge-nudge, wink-wink jokes. How did that happen?"  
  
"We're both British and get the humor?" Spike asked helpfully.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Your name comes up in conversation and it's normal, it's not even dressed up with colorful little metaphors and barbed adjectives." Buffy frowned. "Willow never even offers to do a de-invite spell anymore." She pouted.  
  
Spike chuckled. "I knew there was a reason why my ears always burn whenever you girls get together."  
  
"No, your name comes up from the others, usually. 'Spike took some gorel root without paying for it' or when I go out on patrol, Willow will ask if you're going with me. When you're not around for a few days, Dawn asks me if I know where you've been. Those kind of things."  
  
She heard him take a long, unnecessary breath. "Buffy," he began.  
  
"No Spike. No excuses. No more special Buffy treatment. Not from you." Buffy slid out of Spike's grasp and sat next to him on the couch, facing him.  
  
"No, not from me," he agreed finally. He closed his eyes and let the memory wash over him. "It all started the night you died."  
  
To be continued! 


	5. Enter the Buffybot

Chapter Five: Seven Months Ago  
  
  
  
May, 2001  
  
The silence was the first thing Spike became aware of as he floated back to consciousness. The sudden quiet blanketed the battle scene like a physical force. He stood slowly. His shoulder felt as though it were on fire. His hands were torn and bloodied. He hardly noticed as he limped up to the small crowd semi circled around the smoking pile of metal. He took a headcount. Xander cradled Anya in his arms. Giles was standing near Dawn. Tara held onto Willow, supporting her. The only one missing was Buffy. Spike noticed a new sound in the air. Desperate gulps of air choked by emotion. The tears flowed freely down the faces of the remaining players.  
  
He spied the prone body of the slayer, no longer animated by the life force within her. Her blond hair spread out behind her, a small smile on her peaceful face. Not a mark on her body, she could have been sleeping. But she was still. So terribly, terribly still.  
  
Spike collapsed to his knees, tears streaming down his face. The waves of grief crashing over him until he thought he would be crushed under the weight.  
  
"No," Dawn said softly, breaking the silence. She slowly walked over to Buffy's body and knelt down. No one stopped her. She reached out a hand and brushed back a lock of hair from Buffy's face. She turned and offered a watery smile to her friends. "It was her gift. I understand now," she said quietly before she passed out over the body of her sister.  
  
Spike reached her first, lifting Dawn's slight weight easily in his strong arms.  
  
"Spike," Willow said softly.  
  
Spike turned to the small redhead and tightened his grip on Dawn. "I'll take her home and watch over her. Sun'll be up soon."  
  
Giles removed his glasses and stepped forward. "We'll deal with things, here." He said simply. "Call the police-"  
  
"No!" Anya argued. Xander let her down and placed the ex-demon on her feet. "Giles, think about it. We can't let people know she's dead. If it got out on the vampire grapevine that Sunnydale is suddenly slayerless, it'll be an all you can eat buffet."  
  
"But, won't another Slayer be called?" Xander asked. "I mean, we had Kendra, and Faith-" he trailed off.  
  
"No, not in this case," Giles replaced his glasses and turned to face Xander and Anya. "Buffy already had her replacement. That was Kendra. There will be no other slayer called until Faith dies."  
  
"Because Faith was Kendra's replacement." Xander finished.  
  
Giles nodded. Willow and Tara approached. "Anya's right. We can't let this get out. Not just because of vampires and demons - but because of Dawn. We're the only family she has left now, but not legally. Legally, she could be taken away from us."  
  
"Over my dead body," Spike spat out menacingly. "No bloody social services is going to take her from us. I promised Buffy I'd look after Dawn. I'd make sure nothing happened to her." He looked down at Dawn's bloodied dress. "I failed once. I won't fail again."  
  
No one said anything for a moment. Finally, Giles stepped forward and put a hand on Spike's shoulder. "Take her home. We'll take care of Buffy. We'll meet back at the house later." He said with tears in his eyes. Xander turned his back.  
  
Spike nodded at the weary watcher and walked off, carrying his cargo as though it were the most precious thing in the world.  
  
Dawn woke up after they arrived home. She didn't speak, just stared off into space. Spike cleaned and dressed Dawn's wounds as best he could and helped her into her bed. He watched her the rest of the night, leaving her side only to close the blinds and curtains in all the windows. He watched as the room slowly changed from a dusty black to a rosy pink. It was going to be a beautiful day in Sunnydale.  
  
The front door opened a little after ten. Spike waited at the top of the stairs while the Scoobies filed in and made their way to the living room.  
  
"She's asleep," Spike said as they sat down. He perched on the edge of the couch, sitting next to Tara.  
  
"Good," Tara said warmly, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on Spike's knee. The gesture of comfort was unexpected, but Spike appreciated the sentiment behind it.  
  
"Does that mean you'll be cleaning out your crypt tonight? Go hook up with Drusilla or something?" Xander asked spitefully. "After all, the reason you stuck around so long is now gone. No need for you to stay behind."  
  
"I promised the Slayer I would protect Dawn."  
  
"Yeah, heck of a protector you were. Got knifed by the really old guy while Dawn was sliced open." Xander spat.  
  
Spike lunged for the younger man, gameface on. He grabbed Xander by the lapels and slammed him against the wall. Spike's chip sent out a massive jolt, but he held onto the taller man. "You think I wanted this?" he seethed, his face inches from Xander's. "I oughta kill you where you stand."  
  
"Sing a different tune, Spike." Xander said quietly.  
  
"I failed, alright?" he seethed, suddenly releasing Xander and changing back into his human visage. He turned and faced the group, arms spread wide. "William the Bloody failed. Again. The one time when it really meant something, and I bloody blew it." He sank to his knees and buried his head in his hands.  
  
Xander looked down at his fallen enemy, lost for words.  
  
Willow walked over to Spike and knelt down beside him. "We all failed, Spike." She said quietly, putting her arms around him and forcing him to look at her. "But we're going to continue her work. Fight the good fight. Keep our family safe." Spike looked at her in desperation. "You're part of our family, Spike. Buffy trusted you to look after the most precious thing in the world to her. If that doesn't make you family, I don't know what does." Overcome by the shared grief, Willow held Spike in her arms and they silently held onto each other.  
  
Giles stood. "We'll fill him in later. Right now, we all need some rest. We'll meet back here at six tonight." He said as he shrugged into his coat.  
  
Xander and Anya stood and followed Giles out the door, leaving Tara, Willow and Spike in the living room.  
  
***  
  
"So that's how Willow and Tara accepted me," Spike finished. He reached over and took a sip of the tepid tea leftover from earlier in the evening. "I slept on the floor in Dawn's room that day. I don't think I really slept at all. I just listened to her breathing and concentrated on that. We decided to bury you deep in the woods. Even had a nice evening service so I could pay my respects. Giles bought the headstone and casket. It was, well," Spike cleared his throat. "It was a nice funeral." He said quietly.  
  
Buffy sat back against the couch. "Oh," she said quietly. "I had no idea." She sat quietly for a moment, absorbing this information. She knew they had missed her, obviously, since they brought her back. She knew they were devastated, but seeing the naked pain on Spike's face as he retold the story affected her more than she thought it would.  
  
She never bothered to really ask how they dealt with her passing, she was too busy being angry with them. "What did Giles mean when he said he'd fill you in later?" she asked.  
  
"They brought up the idea of using the bot as a stand in for you for Dawn's school events. You were her legal guardian, and no one knew you had died. If they had, your father would have taken Dawn away from us and we wouldn't be able to keep her safe." Spike explained.  
  
Buffy was slightly stunned. "I thought you guys kept the robot around while you worked out a way to bring me back. I never thought that it was to keep Dawn here in Sunnydale."  
  
"That was the original intention," Spike agreed. "But, this is the hellmouth, and the local nasties were still out in their usual numbers. It was Willow who thought of using the bot for patrol. We all had our hands full, and we weren't exactly a crack fighting unit." Spike stood and reached for Buffy's hand. "Let's go sit outside so I can have a fag."  
  
Buffy allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She followed Spike outside and sat down on the steps as he lit his cigarette. "I thought it was a bloody joke at first, but it made sense. If the local baddies were going to think you were still around, they had to see you once in a while." He took a drag on his cigarette and continued the story.  
  
June, 2001  
  
  
  
"What the bloody hell is that thing doing here?" Spike seethed as he entered the magic shop.  
  
"Spikey!" the BuffyBot said brightly. She tried to stand up but was held in place by Willow's firm grip.  
  
"Sit." Willow commended the bot as she worked on the circuitry in the abdomen.  
  
"We-we," Tara stammered, looking at Willow.  
  
"We need help on patrol, Spike." Anya informed him as she closed out the cash register. "I mean, there's only so much we can do by ourselves. Willow and Tara are researching spells, and the ones that don't backfire aren't powerful enough. Giles is too old to run after them, Xander can't shoot straight and all I can seem to do is scream and shout 'Look out behind you' every time we get in over our heads. You're the only one who can really fight these things, and even you get outnumbered most of the time. We need help."  
  
Giles made a face. "I can chase the vampires down just fine."  
  
"And you get all winded and they throw you around. I mean, really, Giles. You're the brains of the operation. We need you doing brainy stuff, not getting them bashed against walls."  
  
"Anya," Xander cut in. "we get it. We suck."  
  
"We were planning to use the BuffyBot as a stand in for Dawn's school activities, and figured we might as well configure her for combat as well." Tara explained.  
  
Spike looked down at the blonde robot. She stared at him with adoration. "Makes sense," he grudgingly agreed.  
  
"If Spike likes it, I like it, too." The Buffybot declared brightly, turning a sunny smile on the stunned vampire.  
  
"Willow, can you stop her from doing that? Gives me the willies." Spike said as he sat down heavily in one of the chairs surrounding the research table.  
  
"Already working on it. I'm replacing some of her personality protocols with fighting techniques, and I'm tweaking her vocabulary a bit.  
  
"Willow doodled a nice tweak in the spice racks." Buffybot explained.  
  
"As I said, still tweaking. I've erased the directories containing her, uh, original purpose. She'll be a lean, mean fighting machine in no time." Willow snapped the encasement shut and pulled the bot's green knit top back into place. "That's about all I can do. This robot is designed to learn by experience. Pretty fancy design, actually." She said with a hint of admiration. "The best way to have her learn is to take her on patrol."  
  
Spike scowled at the robot. She was sitting there with an empty, vacant grin on her face, waiting to be addressed. He wondered how on earth he could ever have tried to use her to replace Buffy. She wasn't in the same league. Not even by half.  
  
***  
  
"That first patrol was a disaster." Spike laughed softly, gazing off into the distance. A car passed by, briefly lighting the pair sitting on the porch steps. "You know how they say that laughter can be cathartic in times of emotional stress? I think we all did some healing that night." Spike took another puff of his cigarette and dropped it to the ground, watching it slowly burn out. "So that night we set off on our first patrol with the bot."  
  
To be continued. 


	6. Motherfunhouse

Chapter Six: Motherfunhouse  
  
June, 2001  
  
  
  
With Dawn safely tucked away at a neighbor's house, the group set out the following night to test the Buffybot. Xander suggested that they give it a new name, so they wouldn't confuse Dawn when she met the robot. Anya immediately vetoed the idea, reminding them that they couldn't have a Slayer running around who didn't answer to her own name. It was bound to rouse some suspicion in the local demon population.  
  
"She's right. Best to leave things in the status quo. Right, Buff?" Xander clapped the bot on the shoulder.  
  
Buffybot reached up and flung Xander over her shoulder. "Bad touch." She yelled as Xander crashed into a wall.  
  
"Serves you right, you pervert." Spike called out from the back of the crowd. He tried to put as much distance between him and the bot as possible and figured taking up the rear position would be a good idea. Now, he wasn't so sure. If the bot was going to be tossing Xander around like a rag doll, he wanted a closer seat.  
  
"Pervert!" Buffybot repeated. Xander slowly stood and wiped his shirt with his hands.  
  
"First off. Ow! Second - you're on our side. We don't have bad touches. Except maybe Spike, if he touches you, feel free to throw him off a bridge."  
  
Spike made a face. "Don't blame me for your lack of appeal with women."  
  
"Hey!" Anya marched up to Spike and smacked him on the arm. "That's my boyfriend you're talking about."  
  
"Knock it off." Willow stopped and turned to face the group. "If you two will remember, we have a very impressionable Buffybot here. If she sees you two arguing like a couple of two year olds, she's going to pick up the habit." Willow turned to the bot. "Xander's right. When we touch or hug or high five, that's okay. We're not attacking you. We're celebrating."  
  
Buffy brightened. "Okay!" she picked up Willow's hand and high fived her. Willow grabbed her hand, her mouth silently mouthing in pain.  
  
"Motherfu-" she stopped mid curse and quickly corrected herself. "funhouse."  
  
Buffy blinked. "Motherfunhouse. You looked like you were in pain, so it's a slang term? A name?" she asked.  
  
Willow nursed her wounded hand. "Yeah," she agreed. She turned and cast warning glares over the rest of the group.  
  
"And introducing non-sequetor slang terms is part of your rehabilitation program?" Giles asked innocently. He decided to take up the rear position with Spike after seeing the annoyed look on Willow's face.  
  
"We have to be careful, we're going to introduce her to Dawn soon, and we don't want to increase her vocabulary. We'll leave that to the high school kids."  
  
They continued on, heading towards the nearest cemetery. Buffybot and Xander in the lead.  
  
"Okay, let's split up. No self respecting vampire is going to attack a gang like us." Willow said as they neared the entrance to the large cemetery.  
  
"Do you really think that's wise?" Giles asked. "We don't know how she's going to act."  
  
"She fought before." Xander told them. "Remember? After Spike got a happy right over there." Xander gestured to a cluster of bushes.  
  
"I seem to remember her tossing you around back then, too." Spike shot back. The two glared at each other until Giles stepped in.  
  
"Right then. Obviously, you two aren't pairing up. Xander, you go with Willow and Tara. Anya, Spike, Buffy.bot." Giles stumbled over the name. "You're with me. We'll meet back here in half and hour."  
  
"Great." Anya muttered. "I get stuck with the Brits."  
  
"At least I'm not with the Bug Eating Man Bitch" Spike called out loudly enough for Xander to hear.  
  
"Anya!" Xander yelled in frustration.  
  
Anya smacked Spike on the arm again. "I told you that in confidence!" she yelled.  
  
"ENOUGH!" Giles yelled. "You three, go. Now before I kill you all." Willow, Tara and Xander hurried off.  
  
"Now," Giles turned and faced his group. "let's go out and kill something." He said with mild glee.  
  
Spike smiled and clapped Giles on the back. "Now you're singing my song, Rupert."  
  
Buffybot led the way, taking the trio deeper into the graveyard. Her head moved unnaturally - like a bird. She turned her head at every sound. Her robotic eyes not designed to move independently from her head. Spike watched her movements from behind, oddly comforted by the very un-Buffy- like behavior. She was nothing like the real Buffy. The real Buffy would be casually strolling along the overgrown path, making herself a target. The bot made it obvious she was looking for a fight. The odd movements made it easier for Spike to forget about the physical resemblance. This was merely a pile of electronics wrapped in a flesh covered body. It was not Buffy. He hoped that Dawn would have the same reaction when she met the bot.  
  
"Well, so far, so good," Giles commented as he watched the Buffybot sprint forward. A breeze had lifted the branches of a large oak tree, the leaves rustling in the wind. A branch stapped and fell to the ground. Buffybot pounced, pulling out her stake and attacking the fallen branch.  
  
Anya, Giles and Spike traded a glance as they watched the bot break the stick into several small pieces. She stood and brushed herself off. Seeing her friends gathered near her, she turned to address them.  
  
"There. You are safe, my friends." She said with a too-bright smile.  
  
"Thank goodness you saved us from that falling twig." Anya deadpanned. "Giles. Make her stop acting like that. I'm afraid if I sneeze, she's going to jump me thinking I've been possessed."  
  
"Yes, right. Buffybot, come here a moment." Giles called out.  
  
Buffybot brushed the loose dirt from her clothing and approached, still wearing that vacant smile. "You're my Watcher." She said, her gaze losing focus for a moment as she accessed the records. "Giles. I should listen to you." Her eyes regained their focus and settled on Giles. She patiently waited for his command.  
  
Giles was somewhat taken aback. The bot was waiting for him to tell her what to do. The real Buffy would have simply told him to go home and he'd get a progress report in the morning. "Oh, dear lord." He said, at a complete and total loss. He had become so accustomed to not being listened to, he forgot what it actually felt like to be in charge. Not good. "Okay, Buffybot, we're looking for vampires and demons, remember?" Giles said in a slightly strangled voice. "That's a stick you just attacked. It wasn't going to harm us."  
  
"Right. Vampires and Demons. Only." She turned to look at Anya and Spike who were standing several feet away.  
  
"Uh, now might be a good time to clarify which vampires and demons are okay to attack." Anya said hesitantly, seeing the Buffybot access her records again.  
  
"What? Oh, yes, right. Buffybot, Anya and Spike are on our side." Giles said quickly.  
  
The bot turned to look at Giles. "But they are a demon and a vampire. They're bad."  
  
Spike smiled, preening a bit. "Told ya," he said to Anya.  
  
"Anya is no longer a demon." Giles explained. Buffybot nodded and turned her attention to Spike. "He's still a vampire. Why don't we kill him?" she asked. It was something the old Buffy would have said. For a moment, Giles flirted with the idea. Why not?  
  
Seeing the expression on Giles' face, Spike spoke up. "Rupert, explain to the nice robot why we don't want to dust Spike?" he said, eyeing the bot nervously.  
  
"He's been neutered, he can't harm people. Just demons. He helps us out and we let him take things from the store without paying. Like bartering." Anya explained.  
  
"Neutered.without sex organs." Buffy accessed her memory banks. "Like a puppy."  
  
Spike scowled. "Hey! I still got the equipment as you bloody well know. It's the vampire equipment that's been shut down. Bloody hell, Giles!" Spike turned on the watcher who was trying desperately not to laugh.  
  
"But other vampires are okay to attack? Like those two over there?" Buffybot pointed behind Anya and Spike. A foul smelling body launched itself against Spike, taking the vampire down and sending the two rolling into the trunk of the oak tree.  
  
"Look out! Behind you!" Anya yelled as she hid behind Giles.  
  
"Thanks much," Spike grunted, wrestling with the fresh from the grave vamp.  
  
Buffybot turned and kicked the second vampire away from Giles and Anya. The vampire landed six feet away. He quickly scrambled to his feet and turned to face the slayer.  
  
"Slayer," he growled, running at her full speed. Buffybot turned to Giles. "This one is okay to kill?" she asked.  
  
"Yes!" Giles and Anya yelled together. Buffybot held out a stake and allowed the vampire to run straight into it. He exploded into a pile of dust, showering the three. Buffy turned and smiled at Giles.  
  
"Uhm, you might want to help Spike out." Anya pointed to where Spike was now engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the other vampire.  
  
"I dropped my stake!" Spike yelled between blows. He delivered a spinning crescent kick to his attacker's head, sending him spinning off.  
  
Buffybot's face dropped in dismay. "He's attacking Spike!" she yelled, a subroutine in her programming kicking in. "Keep your hands off his perfect body!" she cried out as she threw herself on top of the vampire as he tried to climb to his feet. She raised the stake above her head and plunged it into his back, piercing the heart.  
  
"Motherfunhouse." She hissed as the vampire imploded.  
  
"Indeed," Spike said under his breath as he rejoined Giles and Anya. He was going to have a private talk with Willow about her reprogramming. She obviously missed something.  
  
"Well, that went just splendidly. Let's catch up with the others." Giles said. He turned to the Buffybot. "Very good. That's exactly what we need the slayer to do when she's patrolling."  
  
Buffybot smiled. "Thank you, Giles." She said sweetly as she fell into step beside Spike.  
  
They caught up with Willow, Tara and Xander twenty minutes later. Buffybot spied them first.  
  
"Hey! It's the bug-eating man bitch! Hi guys!" she called out brightly as they approached.  
  
Xander shot Spike a dark look. "Thanks for teaching her that one."  
  
"Hey, your bloody girlfriend told the bot I've been neutered. She thinks I'm a bloody puppy." Spike scowled as he joined the group.  
  
Xander put his arm around Anya. "You did that for me?" he asked, squeezing her close. "That's so sweet." Anya grinned at her secret fiancé.  
  
"How did patrolling go?" Willow asked Giles.  
  
"Rather well, all things considered. She tried to save us from a fallen twig, but then we were attacked by two vampires. She took care of them. I'd say our first field test was a success." Giles removed his glasses and absently began to clean them. "But we need to work with her on her, uh, social skills."  
  
"Yeah, I keep expecting to hear one of her snarky comments that brings out her inner bi-" Spike stopped, remembering Willow's warning. "Bingo." He finished lamely.  
  
The group began to head back to the Magic Box. "Inner bingo?" Tara asked Willow as they began their walk.  
  
"Is it any worse than motherfunhouse?" Willow asked.  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
  
  
Buffy was laughing as Spike finished the story. "Motherfunhouse?" she giggled.  
  
"Yeah," Spike laughed. "It took nearly a month for the bot to stop calling Xander a bug eating man bitch."  
  
Buffy leaned back on her elbows, enjoying Spike's commentary. So that was what their first patrol had been. A comedy of errors.  
  
"That whole experience was enlightening for me. After spending time with the bot, I knew I'd never look at her and think about you. The decoration was the same, but underneath, it wasn't you." Spike sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. "I knew I could handle the bot, but Dawn. I wasn't so sure about that, so I talked to Willow."  
  
***  
  
June, 2001  
  
  
  
"Willow," Spike called out. "Wait up a bit."  
  
Willow and Tara exchanged a quick glance. Tara squeezed Willow's hand once and continued on with the group, leaving Spike and Willow behind.  
  
"What's up?" Willow asked as Spike approached.  
  
Spike shifted uncomfortably, waiting for the others to get out of earshot. "Those personality programs - did you delete all of them?" he asked.  
  
"I think I got them all, unless there were some underlying protocols batched into a subroutine that I didn't catch." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"  
  
Spike backed off. "Hey, it's not what you're thinking. It's just, well, she slips sometimes. She yelled at a vamp to stay away from my perfect body, and she called me Spikey. I, well... It's bloody uncomfortable. We both know what she was originally intended for, and I want it to stop. Completely."  
  
Willow's expression softened. "I know. She's only been online for a few days, Spike. It's going to take time to work out all the bugs."  
  
"But what about Dawn? If the bot has a few remaining programs that make her say inappropriate things to me, what about her? She might start trying to behave like an older sister." Spike implored. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.  
  
"Well, that's sort of the point. She's supposed to act like Dawn's big sister." Willow reminded him.  
  
"In public. But what about at home? Is she just going to be shut off in the closet until we need her for a bloody PTA open house?" Spike asked. "Because I can tell you for a fact right now, Dawn will never allow that to happen. She's going to look at the bot as a replacement for Buffy, and when the bloody bot doesn't act like the Buffy she knows and loves, it's going to be worse. You know that." He turned his watery gaze on Willow.  
  
"Not if we're all there to work with her." Willow laid a hand on Spike's arm. "Look, this isn't going to be easy for any of us, but I think we can all tell the difference between Buffy and the Buffybot. They're nothing alike. Dawn will see that, too, if we handle this the right way. We have no choice, if we want to keep her here."  
  
Spike took another drag of his cigarette and tossed it away. "I know. I just want to protect her, you know. Help her move on. Keep her safe." He finished lamely. "Sodding chip. Gave me a bloody conscience."  
  
"I think it's nice." Willow gestured and they began to walk back to the shop, the others well out of sight by now. "I remember when you first got it and tried to bite me. I was going through a really bad time, breaking up with Oz, but you made me feel better."  
  
Spike remembered that night, breaking into Willow and Buffy's dorm room. "Well, I hate to break it to you, pet, but that wasn't my intention."  
  
"Oh, I know, but still, I mean - that was a real conversation we had, and well, my point is, I think that chip is a good thing. Before you were all grr all the time. Now, you have people you care about and you're grr for a reason. A reason that's bigger than you." Willow paused and watched the vampire's reaction. "Does that make any sense to you?"  
  
Spike smiled and laid an arm over the small witch's shoulder. "Yeah, pet. It does. You know, after I was turned, I spent my whole life trying to be the Big Bad. Now, that's been taken away from me, but I'm part of something new now. At first, I was absolutely furious, but it's made me open my eyes to the fact that the world does not revolve around me. I have friends now. Real friends." He squeezed her shoulder once and then let his arm drop. "And I think I'm ready to admit that it feels pretty good."  
  
"You have family." Willow said simply.  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
  
  
"So that's why Willow keeps blood in the house for you." Buffy said thoughtfully. "I always thought she did it so she would have something to bribe you with."  
  
Spike smiled faintly, but said nothing. This was the first time he had ever spoken about the summer to anyone.  
  
"I think it's fair to say we all did some growing up over the summer." He said mildly. "But, looking back, I think Willow opened up to me to make sure I'd stick around."  
  
Buffy's fine brows creased. "What do you mean?"  
  
"She had a plan to bring you back, and didn't want me involved. She kept me focused on Dawn, which I would have done anyway. She knew there was a chance that the spell would get bollixed up."  
  
"And I'd come back wrong," Buffy finished quietly.  
  
"And she knew I would never let you go again, so she shut me out." He turned to look at her. "She was right." He said softly.  
  
Buffy stared into his face, his expression cracking something deep within her. "So," she said, wanting to change the subject. "How did Dawn handle the meeting?"  
  
Spike sat back and closed his eyes. "Like a trooper." He smiled. He was proud of his little bit. That first meeting could have been awkward and volatile. "She made us all proud."  
  
To be continued! Thanks for the positive feedback, everyone! 


	7. Not Love

Chapter Seven: Not Love  
  
July 18, 2001  
  
"What time is it?" Willow asked Tara as she nervously straightened the books on the shelves in the Summers house. Tara looked up at the pendulum clock mounted on the wall closest to the front door.  
  
"Nearly seven. Xander and Anya should be bringing Dawn home from dinner soon." Tara replied as she sprayed the glass cleaner on the television set. She began to wipe the screen with the paper towel. "Shouldn't Spike be here by now?"  
  
"Sundown is much later this time of the year. The sun won't even set for another thirty minutes, at least." Giles answered from his seat on the couch. "Will you two stop? You're acting very - British. It's very disturbing."  
  
Willow snatched her hand back from the bookcase and gave Giles a guilty smile. Tara stood and fiddled with the damp paper towel in her hand.  
  
Giles nodded. "Yes, that's better."  
  
"Who locked the bloody door?" Spike's muffled scream startled everyone. Willow cast a wild look at Giles.  
  
"Oops." She yelped, running for the front door. She grabbed the handle and yanked the door in, Spike barreled through, nearly taking her down. He tossed the flame ridden blanket on the hardwood floor and began to jump on it.  
  
"Fire! Fire!" he yelled.  
  
"Aquae Appirate!" Willow commanded, flinging her hand wide. A small storm cloud appeared above the flaming blanket and began to rain on the fire. When the flames were doused, the cloud dissipated.  
  
"Hey! Watch the leather!" Spike barked, swiping at the droplets of moisture collecting on the sleeve of his jacket. He stood up in surprise. "When did you learn how to do that?"  
  
Willow smiled and clapped her hands. "A few weeks ago, I've been practicing calling the four elements. Been hoping for a chance to use it in action."  
  
Spike cast her a dark look. "Glad to oblige. Would you mind shutting the door before I set the bloody house on fire?"  
  
Willow jumped back and quickly pulled the door shut.  
  
"I don't see why all this is necessary. Dawn's not a kid. She can handle the robot just fine." He said testily as he shook out his jacket. "I think we're overreacting here."  
  
"She lost her mother and sister in the space of two months. And this is going to be a pretty drastic change for her. She needs our support." Willow replied.  
  
Spike shook his head and declined comment.  
  
Tara and Giles stood in the archway to the living room. Tara looked at Willow. "You never told me you could do that." She said, pointing at the sodden blanket on the floor.  
  
Willow shrugged and waved her hands dismissively. "No big. Let's get this cleaned up. Xander and Anya are bringing Dawn back soon."  
  
"Where's - ?" Spike let the question hang.  
  
"In the kitchen." Tara answered as they picked up the sodden blanket. Willow and Giles went upstairs to get a few towels. Together, Spike and Tara dumped the blanket in the sink. Spike turned around and grabbed a handful of paper towels.  
  
"I've had this jacket for over twenty years and not once have I ever got it wet." He complained, swiping at the damp leather.  
  
"Spike, it's the middle of summer. Why are you wearing a jacket?" Tara asked.  
  
"All part of the image, baby. I'm bad. Remember?"  
  
Tara rolled her eyes. "Not really, I met you after the chip was implanted. Oh, I found a proper tea strainer for you, by the way It's at the Magic Shop - remind me to give it to you next Scooby meeting."  
  
"Thanks, love," Spike said as he dried his hands. Tara smiled and headed back to the living room. Spike noticed the bot sitting at the kitchen table. She had half a dozen peeled bananas in front of her and was staring intently at the seventh held in her hands, halfway peeled. She completely ignored him.  
  
Spike went into the living room. "What did you do to the bot?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, just put a repeating loop in her system. She has a task to complete - peel all the bananas at the rate of one per fifteen minutes. When the program is complete, she is to come to me." At Spike's questioning gaze, Willow continued. "It was just to keep her out of our hair for a few hours, and shutting her down seemed so creepy."  
  
"Right," Spike said as he removed his jacket.  
  
The front door opened again and Dawn entered the house, quickly followed by Anya and Xander.  
  
"Hey, what's this? Intervention?" she asked the assembled group. When no one smiled she took a step back. "If you're wondering why the front hall is all wet and full of towels, I didn't do it." She swore.  
  
"Dawn, sit down. We have something to share with you." Tara escorted Dawn to the couch and sat down next to her.  
  
Tara looked up at the group, wondering who should be the one to tell her. Willow stepped forward and knelt before Dawn.  
  
"Dawnie, do you remember that robot we used to trick Glory?" she asked.  
  
Dawn's brows furrowed. "Yeah? What about it?"  
  
"Well, after that, I sorta salvaged all the parts." Willow continued slowly.  
  
"You rebuilt her?" Dawn gasped. "What?" she looked around the room. "Why would you do that?" she whispered brokenly.  
  
"To keep you here with us." Tara said gently.  
  
"But, I thought that's why we covered up her.you know." Dawn was unwilling to say the word. "So they'd think she was still here. Why do we need the robot?"  
  
"Dawn, you'll be going back to school soon, and Buffy would be expected to attend parent/teacher functions. This seemed like the best way to convince the school authorities that everything was normal." Anya explained patiently.  
  
It was a little more harsh than the group intended, but coming from Anya's mouth, it may as well have had fuzzy kittens and rainbow ribbons attached.  
  
Dawn closed her mouth and held back the tears. What Anya said made sense. She couldn't keep up the normal charade for long. Parent/Teacher conferences were scheduled once a month. Buffy's absence would be noticed. She nodded her head. "I understand." She said quietly.  
  
This was not the reaction the group was expecting, but it was a welcome relief. "We don't want you to think we're playing a cruel joke. This is just about keeping you here." Xander said. He sat down next to Dawn on the sofa. "We know Buffy is gone and we can't bring her back. This isn't an attempt to do that. You understand that, right?"  
  
Xander looked up and caught Willow shooting daggers at him with her eyes. The glance went unnoticed by Dawn, but Spike was afforded the full interplay. He frowned a bit. What was that all about?  
  
"I understand." Dawn repeated. "I don't want to leave you guys. I don't want to go live with my father and his secretary in Spain." She looked at each person in turn. "Buffy wouldn't have wanted that. I understand why we need the robot. I know it's going to be weird. I mean, I'm not exactly going to be trading knock-knock jokes with her or anything." She stood. "You're worried that I'll start treating her like Buffy and hoping she'll take her place, right?" she took a few steps and turned again. "You thought I wouldn't understand and would freak out and start crying? Geez.overreact much?" she laughed.  
  
"Told ya so." Spike sing songed. Willow threw him a murderous glare and gazed at the clock. Buffybot would be coming online in five minutes.  
  
"She's in the kitchen, Dawn." Willow explained about the subroutine she programmed. The group slowly moved into the kitchen, letting Dawn lead the way. They hung back a bit as she approached the figure seated at the kitchen table.  
  
"Wow." Dawn said when she saw the bot peeling the last banana. "Buffybot on drugs!" she laughed. Internally, she was quaking with fear. The Buffybot looked exactly like Buffy. Down to the very last strand of hair. She leaned closer and inspected the bot's face. Same eyelashes. Same flecks of brown in her green eyes. Same nose with the dimple on the end. Dawn heard a faint whir and confirmation beep. Suddenly, Buffybot's eyes focused on Dawn's face.  
  
Her face split in a huge, sunshiny smile. "Dawnie!" she said happily, holding her arms out for a hug. Spike fumed and cast an accusing stare at Willow. Willow widened her eyes in surprise - she was just as shocked as he was. They all turned to watch Dawn's reaction.  
  
Dawn gasped in surprise and froze, staring at the robot that wore her sister's face. The bot waited patiently for Dawn to make up her mind. "Buffybot," she said finally. "Welcome back." She tentatively reached out and embraced the bot. Buffybot smiled and tightened her embrace. Dawn pulled back and stepped away.  
  
"So, what do we do with her?" she asked.  
  
"Let's discuss that in the living room." Willow said, leading the Buffybot by the arm.  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
  
  
"Wow." Buffy marveled. "My kid sister acting all grown up."  
  
"Yeah, she did real well - course, it was exactly how we planned it, except for me almost catching fire and the bloody bot reaching for a hug." Spike marveled. Looking back on the memory, that was really his first clue as to what the others were planning. Xander's babbling about not trying to bring Buffy back was staring him straight in the face the whole time. No wonder Willow looked ready to murder him.  
  
"You and Dawn had a plan?" Buffy's voice reflected incredulity. "You told her about the robot beforehand?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, I knew she'd want it that way." Spike stood up and reached down to help Buffy to a standing position. He held onto her hand a moment longer than necessary, then reluctantly let her go. He wasn't going to go down the whipping boy path again.  
  
Buffy looked up into his eyes. "How did you know that?" she asked, she had been thinking the same thing.  
  
"Because I know you, Buffy. That's exactly how you would want it. You can't stand to cause pain to your friends and neither can she. How would you feel if all of us came crashing down upon you at once? Scratch that, you already know how you feel. You've been there. I knew that's what would happen to Dawn if we all came at her at once with the news of the robot. I told her in private and she let everything out. She threw things around. She screamed and raged and then she cried. She got it all out without hurting her friends, and she was able to act like the bot didn't bother her." Spike paused and let his words hang in the air. He stared off into the darkness.  
  
"After the official introduction, Dawn would come round to my crypt and we'd talk. I'd walk her back home." Spike searched her eyes, desperately hoping she would agree that he did the right thing. Buffy's eyes filled with tears, glistening like two pools of light. "She, like all the other Summers women I've known, has dignity and grace and an overriding need to protect the ones they love. She couldn't bear to hurt Willow's feelings, it was her idea and she was so excited about it. Dawn talked to me about how weird it was for her. How she felt. It was easier for her to have an outlet, and then pretend everything was status quo for the benefit of the group. Made her feel like she had some control over things. Just like you, even though you're too stubborn to admit it."  
  
Buffy stared at Spike for a long moment, then slowly leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. He returned the kiss tentatively at first, afraid she was going to slap him across the face at any second. She broke the kiss after a few seconds and looked into his eyes. "That was remarkably insightful and very disturbing." She whispered up at him. "But not so much disturbing nowadays as it would have been a year ago." She leaned in and for a moment, Spike thought she was going to kiss him again. She swept past him and turned to face the door to the house. "There's gotta be more to the story, though." She said as she turned the doorknob.  
  
Spike reached over and opened the door for her. "What do you mean?" he asked as he followed her into the house.  
  
"Well, you told me how you bonded with Willow and Tara. But what about Giles and Xander?" she asked. "From what you've told me, Giles spent most of his time keeping you and Xander from killing each other. So to speak. If you could actually kill him."  
  
Spike went to the stove and picked up the kettle. "Hot chocolate?" he asked, avoiding Buffy's question. "How's your headache, by the way?"  
  
"On its way back if you don't tell me what I want to know." She told him over her shoulder as she reached for the hot chocolate in the cupboard.  
  
"Oh, Slayer. That would have been so much more convincing if you hadn't kissed me like that just now. In fact," Spike smiled. "You've never kissed me like that."  
  
"Like what?" she asked as she ripped open a packet and poured the powder into a mug.  
  
"Like you felt something, love." He fiddled with the knob on the stove.  
  
"Not love." She said firmly.  
  
He looked at her over his shoulder and grinned at her knowingly. "Not yet."  
  
  
  
To be continued! 


	8. Bloody Awful Poet Society

Chapter Eight: Bloody Awful Poet Society  
  
Please read the Author's Note at the bottom of the chapter. ('specially if you're a BAPS member. It's a tribute, I swear!!)  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
Epiphany  
  
  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
The tea kettle began to whistle as the water it held reached its boiling temperature. Buffy sat down at the table while Spike prepared the hot cocoa. He laughed internally at the flustered woman sitting at the table behind him. He began to add the milk and marshmallows. He knew he had struck a nerve, and before two weeks ago, he would probably have continued to needle, just to see the fire flash behind her eyes before she belted him one. But as he told her on that fateful morning, he knew where she lived now, and she no longer had that power. She fully expected him to continue his banter, and when he didn't, it sent her into a tailspin. When he did snipe back at her, it was usually with a sexual innuendo, which nearly caused a meltdown every time it happened. Buffy had simply turned around and sat down at the table without a word. Spike loved every second of it. About time she got a taste of what she'd been putting him through.  
  
Spike brought the mugs over and set one down in front of Buffy. She looked down at and saw a puffy marshmallow face peering up at her. She looked at Spike, the question written all over her face. She wordlessly pointed to the mug.  
  
"Dawn seems to like it that way. It's a habit. See?" he pointed to his own mug. "It looks more like a semi colon now, but it was a face when I started." He said as he slurped away the melted marshmallows.  
  
"I had no idea you paid attention to things like that." Buffy said as she sipped at her own mug.  
  
"Well, I'm a predator, right? I have to pay attention to my surroundings. Like you, for instance."  
  
"Me? What?" Spike smiled at her puzzled expression.  
  
Spike closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He could smell the marshmallows and chocolate very clearly. Milk, water, leftover pizza on the counter, dishwasher detergent.. something flowery and feminine, something dark and sexy. Something. Buffy. "You washed your hair with Pantene VO-5 this morning and used a separate conditioner, same brand. You used a peach scented foam when you shaved your legs in the shower. Ah, I can tell you're zestfully clean." He opened his eyes and winked at her. Buffy's face flushed.  
  
Spike inhaled and shut his eyes again. "A little baby oil and a dab of vanilla body lotion and you got dressed. You changed your nail polish sometime this morning. You had a tuna sandwich for lunch. Need I go on?" he opened his eyes and smiled at Buffy's shocked expression.  
  
"Are you stalking me again?" she asked.  
  
"I can smell all those things when I concentrate. Have to admit, these past few months, I'd been smelling something different about you. Found out what it was two weeks ago." He said with an evil grin as he lifted the mug to his lips.  
  
Buffy closed her mouth and stared at him. "I think I know why I've been having headaches these past two weeks." She said as she glared at him.  
  
"Sexual tension?" he asked innocently as he stood up. He walked over to the sink and deposited the used mug in the soapy dish basin.  
  
"Regular tension. Argument tension. I can't even get through one conversation without having some kind of argument with you. No one else does that to me, and darn it - no one else does that to you, either. Not anymore." She stood up and walked over to where Spike leaned against the sink. She stood before him, left hand on her hip, right hand poised to deck him one. "Why don't you and Xander fight like that anymore?" she asked.  
  
"We became secret lovers over the summer." Spike stated. At Buffy's horrified expression, he laughed. "Oh, come on. What? You didn't think that was funny?"  
  
"No, not really." She said as she punched him in the nose.  
  
"Ow!" Spike held his nose in his hands and straightened up. "All right, guess I deserved that one." He said as he carefully inspected his nose with his fingers. He dropped his hands and looked at her. "I guess you could say that Xander and I came to an understanding this summer." He said as he pushed away from the sink. Buffy quickly scrambled back to keep herself from coming into contact. "Let's go sit in the living room and I'll fill you in."  
  
***  
  
July 31, 2001  
  
"Happy Birthday, Harry Potter" Dawn read the sign in the Magic Shop as she and Spike entered. "All pewter cauldrons half price today only." She turned and looked at Anya. "Neat idea!"  
  
"Well, Harry Potter is a huge name in the demon world." Anya told her as she dusted the main counter.  
  
Dawn's face dropped. "What?"  
  
"Oh, he's no longer alive, I mean. that stuff took place centuries ago. I was asked to curse one of the Dark Arts teachers - Hogwarts never could manage to keep one longer than a year, you know." She said airily as she completed her dusting task.  
  
"You're making that up." Dawn accused. "I mean - it's a kid's book. Isn't it?" she asked. She whirled around and looked at Spike. "Isn't it?"  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulders and wandered back to the training room. He could hear Giles putting the Buffybot through her paces. He wasn't exactly interested in watching, but he could hear Xander in the room behind Anya. He didn't feel like defending his right to be there tonight, so he made a quick exit until the meeting began. Xander passed through the door as Spike expected, his nose buried in a magazine. He never noticed the vampire.  
  
"Well, the books that have been widely published and over commercialized, yes, those are children's books, but the original text is a bit more - "  
  
"Fluffy?" Dawn asked hopefully.  
  
"Bloody." Anya finished.  
  
"What's bloody?" Xander asked as he perused a magazine.  
  
"The real history of Harry Potter." Anya said as she opened the cash register just to make sure the money was still there. She had been noticing that small things had been disappearing from the shop lately.  
  
Xander dropped the magazine. "What do you mean real history? Those are kids books. Aren't they?" he looked at Dawn desperately. "Aren't they?" he repeated.  
  
"Sure they are, sweetie." Anya patted Xander reassuringly on the arm and walked away.  
  
Dawn and Xander exchanged a look as they sat down around the customary Scooby table. Usually, Dawn was absent from these meetings, but tonight they had a special agenda that involved her. Xander eyed Dawn warily, hoping she would be up for the next chapter of her life.  
  
Spike watched from the doorjamb as the Buffybot beat up a hanging heavybag. She was strong, no doubt, but he could see every move she was about to make. Probably because she was practicing the same combination over and over. Each move precise and accurate. Robotic. Spike scowled. No fire.  
  
"She's getting rather good." Giles said as he approached him from the opposite side of the room. "No creativity, granted, but once she learns a move, she knows it."  
  
Spike nodded. "We gonna leave her here while we get the meeting rolling?" he asked.  
  
"No, she needs more human interaction. With all of us. See how we work when we're not on patrol, things like that." Giles argued politely.  
  
"Dawn's here." Spike reminded him.  
  
"Yes, yes I know. She seems to be handling being around the robot all right. Willow was even thinking of moving her into Buffy's old bedroom in a few nights - it would make recharging her a lot easier if she and Willow were under the same roof." Giles turned to Spike. "Willow was going to run it by Dawn tonight and see what she says. That was the point of the meeting tonight. What do you think?"  
  
Spike stared at the former librarian. "Are you asking me my opinion?" he questioned.  
  
Giles blanched. "Why, yes, I guess I am. Good heavens." He muttered, realization dawning on his face.  
  
Spike made a face. "Didn't mean to rock your world, but if you're still interested, in my opinion, I think it would be an incredibly bad idea to have the robot in the same house as Dawn."  
  
"Really?" Giles was surprised.  
  
"Dawn is dealing, but it's still hard for her to accept the robot. I think it would be best to keep the contact to a few meetings for the next couple of months, and then gradually bring her into more everyday things. She hasn't finished grieving for Buffy yet. None of us have." Spike said quietly.  
  
"I understand your point, but we don't have a few months. Dawn is going back to school in five weeks. The robot will be expected to attend a parent teacher conference in the beginning of October, and with the school being aware of Joyce's passing, they may ask Buffy to meet with Dawn's school counselors to appraise them of Dawn's progress over the summer in dealing with it. We have to start acclimating Dawn and Buffybot now so they won't arouse suspicion." Giles finished.  
  
Spike reluctantly nodded. It was the last thing Dawn would want, but she really had no choice.  
  
"Buffybot," Giles called out. The robot stopped mid punch and turned to face Giles.  
  
"Yes, Giles?" she inquired politely, ever present grin at the ready.  
  
"We're preparing for the meeting now - the one I told you about?" Giles waited for the bot to approach. "This is mainly for listening and learning, but if you have questions, feel free to ask."  
  
"Oh! I have a question. Knock-knock?" Buffybot said excitedly. Giles and Spike sighed together as they headed to the meeting in the main sales floor of the Magic Box. Willow and Tara were just sitting down with Xander and Dawn. Anya was locking the front door and putting out the closed sign.  
  
"Who invited the Ungrateful Dead?" Xander complained when he spied Spike.  
  
"Least I have a job title. Vampire. What are you? Anya's bit-" he caught himself. "bingo?" he finished.  
  
"You're supposed to say, 'who's there', Puppy." Buffybot scolded Spike as she walked by him to sit next to Willow. Willow pulled out an adapter to interface the bot with her laptop.  
  
"Willow!" Spike whined.  
  
"I'm working on it!" she said as she plugged the bot in. "I have new research to upload to her memory banks."  
  
"More vampire stuff?" Anya asked. "I mean, doesn't she know it all by now?"  
  
"Not vampire stuff. Domestic stuff. Dawn stuff." Willow looked up at the quiet brunette. "She has to get ready, Dawn. It's time."  
  
"Time for what?" Dawn asked quietly. Willow exchanged a glance with Giles. "We need to give the Buffybot a normal routine. Sleeping. Grooming. Eating, except she can't eat. We all saw what happened when that robot from A.I ate the spinach." She laughed.  
  
"God, don't bring that movie up. I had a hard enough time trying to forget it. Biggest waste of three hours of my life."  
  
"That's what Anya said last week." Spike said innocently. Xander had his mouth open to reply when Anya jumped in.  
  
"I was talking about that customer service seminar!" she said hotly. "I'll thank you not to twist my words around, Puppy."  
  
"Puppy!" Buffybot giggled, looking at Spike.  
  
Spike cocked his head and glared at Willow. "Your Jedi Mind tricks won't work on me, Spike. I'm working as fast as I can." She said without looking up.  
  
Giles approached the table. "Well, this meeting is starting off just splendidly. Xander, if you and Spike can have a verbal cease fire for a moment, we might be able to accomplish something. There's a reason why we're meeting." Seeing the stricken look on their faces, Giles was struck by inspiration. "Apologize."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Bloody hell." They answered simultaneously. Giles gave them his best Ripper glare.  
  
"Sorry," Xander muttered.  
  
"And you," Spike agreed.  
  
Giles straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "Better."  
  
"As I was saying before we got off track-" Willow started.  
  
"That was your fault. You mentioned the part about the robot eating spinach." Anya said helpfully.  
  
Willow held her breath for a moment and then continued. "We need to start incorporating Buffybot into our everyday lives." She looked at Dawn. "I think we should bring her home and have her live with us."  
  
Dawn visibly paled. She looked over at Spike. He gave her a slight, tight lipped nod. "Already?" she whispered. She steeled herself up. "Okay, Willow. If you think that's best." She said quietly.  
  
"We know it's been difficult, Dawn, but I promise you, it'll get better once we're in a routine. No surprises." Tara spoke up.  
  
"She sleeps, she learns a few domestic chores, she works at the Magic Shop when you're at school and she slays at night. That's what we'll start with. We can get into the interaction between you two whenever you're ready. We just want you used to having her around." Willow explained.  
  
Dawn stood up and pushed herself away from the table. "May I go home now?" she asked.  
  
Xander stood up as well. "I'll walk home with you, Dawn. I think Tara and Willow are going to be busy here for a while." He offered.  
  
Dawn gave him a grateful smile. She headed for the door, pausing to look back over her shoulder at Spike before she and Xander left.  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
"So that night, Xander was on Dawn duty. Willow and the others decided to bring the bot home that night. I left soon after the decision was made and headed home." Spike looked at Buffy who was seated on the reclining chair, the furthest seat from his position on the couch.  
  
"That must have been rough on her," Buffy commented. "But I don't hear any Spike bondage-" Buffy's expression changed as she realized her faux pas. "bonding. BONDING. Spike and Xander bonding." She corrected herself quickly.  
  
Spike chose to ignore the comment, but he lifted one brow and offered her a rakish gaze. Buffy huffed and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Dunno how she did it, but the bit snuck out on Xander. He figured it out eventually and worked out where she had gone." Spike told her.  
  
"To your crypt." Buffy finished. "That must have been a fun confrontation."  
  
***  
  
August 1, 2001. 12:35am.  
  
Spike absently flipped through the channels. There was never anything on this late on a Wednesday night. He grew tired of the Tonight Show reruns. Growling in frustration, he snapped off the TV. It was still a good five hours to sunrise. He grabbed his jacket and climbed up the ladder which led to the upper chamber of his crypt. A few drinks at Willy's would keep him occupied for a while. Maybe a quick hand of kitten poker.  
  
A noise made him stop mid stride. Something was out of place. He listened carefully. A heartbeat filled the room, and the scent of fresh daisies - Dawn's scent.  
  
"Hallo, bit." Spike called out to the darkness. He saw Dawn emerge from her seat on the couch in the darkened room.  
  
"Couldn't sleep." She said quietly. "I must have been really quiet, you didn't even hear me open the door. I've been here fifteen minutes already. You must be getting old." She joked.  
  
"Had the telly on." Spike told her. "Does anyone know you're here?" he asked.  
  
"I snuck out on Xander. Climbed out through Buffy's window." She told him as she sat down again. Spike walked over to the wall and lit a few candles. Dawn's small pixie face was drawn tight with tension. The shadows the candlelight cast made her face seem more withdrawn than usual.  
  
"I didn't know they were going to do that." Spike said, taking a seat across from her.  
  
"I know, and I'm kinda glad that I didn't know ahead of time. Would have just made me think about it more." She sat back against the couch and pulled her legs up underneath her. "I miss her Spike. I miss her so much, still. Having the robot there isn't going to help."  
  
"I know, pet. But that's part of growing up, you know. Doing things you don't necessarily want to do, but knowing you have to do them."  
  
"Like homework." She said miserably. "It's just going to be so tough. Everyone at school knows my mom died, and they'll ask how Buffy and I are doing, and I have to tell them we're doing fine when the truth of the matter is that Buffy died, too and I'm all alone."  
  
"You're not alone, Bit." Spike said gently. "We're your family, all of us. Giles is our father, Tara is our mother, Willow and Anya are our sisters and Xander is our brother."  
  
Dawn looked at Spike. "You two sure don't act like brothers," she commented.  
  
Spike smiled and reached for a cigarette. He normally didn't smoke in front of her, but she left the door open to his crypt. He could feel a cool summer breeze circulating the air around him. "That's where you're wrong." He said as he lit his cigarette. "I grew up with a younger brother. God, what a nightmare that was." Spike laughed. "Always hanging around, getting in the way. Tagging along. Arguing with me. Xander is exactly like him. We fight exactly the same way, minus the death threats."  
  
Dawn's eyes widened. "I didn't know you had a younger brother. What was his name?" she asked.  
  
"Alexander, believe it or not."  
  
"I don't believe it." Xander's voice floated out. He had been standing by the entrance to the crypt, unnoticed.  
  
"I thought I'd find you here, Dawn." He said as he walked in. "It took me a while to find the place, I haven't been here in a while." He looked around. The candles cast a gloomy glow around the room. "Cozy," he commented.  
  
"I thought we agreed on knocking before entering." Spike said mildly as Xander sat down next to Dawn.  
  
"The door was open, and Dawn is supposed to be my responsibility tonight. You keep this up and they're going to assign a babysitter for both of us." Xander said to Dawn.  
  
"Sorry, I just had to get away. I didn't mean to worry you." Dawn said tiredly.  
  
"I knew you were coming here, so I wasn't as panicked as I normally would be. Plus, you no longer have a hell god out for your blood, so that's an added bonus."  
  
Spike looked at Xander sharply. Was that a compliment he heard?  
  
"Things with the Buffybot, I just couldn't deal," Dawn yawned. She snuggled closer to Xander and closed her eyes.  
  
"I know." Xander said softly. "I didn't know until just now how brave you were being. I overheard some of what you and Spike were saying." He looked down at Dawn and saw that she had fallen asleep.  
  
Xander looked up at Spike. "What is it about you that draws the Summers women?" he wondered absently. "First Joyce, then Buffy, now Dawn."  
  
"Actually, it was Joyce, Dawn and then Buffy. Took her nibs a little while to come around." Spike said and took another puff on his cigarette. He reached behind him and picked up a bottle from the floor. He offered it to Xander. "Brandy."  
  
"Gee, couldn't be the whole stalking and chaining her up incident, could it?" Xander asked as he accepted the bottle.  
  
Spike laughed. "I like to think that's part of the charm."  
  
Xander smiled and took a healthy swig of the brandy. It burned a fiery path down his throat and warmed him up from the inside. This was a side of Spike he had never encountered. It was creepy, but at the same time, it seemed appropriate. It was about time they lay down their weapons. "How long has Dawn been coming here?" he asked, passing the bottle back to Spike.  
  
"Ever since the funeral, about once or twice a week." Spike took a drink.  
  
"And you never told us?" Xander questioned.  
  
"I was asked not to, and I'm a man of my word." At Xander's gaze he amended. "Well, nowadays I am at any rate." He returned the bottle back to Xander.  
  
"You know what bugs me the most?" Xander looked up at Spike a few drinks later. "I can't remember the last conversation I had with her. I keep thinking and trying to remember, but I can't remember. I want to think that my last words to her were profound and significant, but something tells me they were more along the lines of 'I'll bring the beer nuts when we all get through this.' Do you remember the last thing you said?"  
  
Spike took another swig of the bottle and clumsily passed it back to Xander's outstretched hand. He fumbled around for a cigarette, feeling quite drunk now. "We were at her house. I was standing at the threshold of the door because of the de-invite spell. Buffy invited me in and she went up the staircase. I called out to her, telling her I knew she would never love me, but she treated me like a man. I wanted to tell her that it meant more to me than anything, but I lost my nerve." Spike smiled at the memory. "I think she would have smiled at that, eventually."  
  
Xander remained quiet for a moment. "You had a little brother named Alexander?" he asked. He set the bottle down unsteadily and gazed through drunken eyes at the vampire. Dawn was still asleep.  
  
"Yeah, rotten little sod. He was two years younger than me, but by the time I was twelve and he was ten, he was a good three inches taller than me and outweighed me by two stones. He picked on me the way I picked on him when we were little kids." Spike looked up at Xander.  
  
"He bullied you?" Xander laughed. "I would pay good money to have seen that."  
  
"Oh, like you were king shit when you were twelve?" Spike slurred.  
  
"No, but I didn't get beat up by ten year olds. I was too busy building forts and playing house with Willow. Besides, we ran a lot faster than the ten year olds on our block." Xander had no idea why he was telling Spike these things. Must be the alcohol.  
  
"I was a lot different back then, and we're talking over a hundred years ago, mind you. Didn't have any fancy video games or telly to keep us busy. You went to school and then you came home and did chores. I passed my O levels and continued on. Alexander failed his when he was twelve and went to work."  
  
Xander blinked. "You were a scholar?" he asked, completely flabbergasted.  
  
"A poet, if you must know."  
  
"Were you any good?" Xander inquired.  
  
"Ever hear of William Wordsworth?" Spike asked. Xander's jaw dropped.  
  
"Just kidding. No, I wasn't any good. Bloody Awful, in fact. But I do remain hopeful that one day, my writings will be found and a Bloody Awful Poet Society will be created in my honor." He took another drag off his cigarette.  
  
"William the Bloody," Xander smiled drunkenly. "Hey! Hey I get it now!"  
  
"Keep a lid on it. That secret dies with you." Spike stood up, swaying unsteadily. "Look, it's gone two am. Better get the Bit home. Willow and Tara have no doubt sent out the word that you two are missing."  
  
"I left 'em a note on the kitchen table." Xander said as he tried to stand. He shifted Dawn over and she collapsed to the other side of the couch, still in deep sleep. Spike offered a hand to steady Xander as he stood up.  
  
"You going to be able to make it there on your own?" Spike asked.  
  
"No problem." Xander stretched and looked at Spike. "Guess this means we're friends?" he offered a hand to the vampire.  
  
Spike stared at the offered hand a moment and then smiled. "Friends." He agreed.  
  
***  
  
Present Day  
  
"You and Xander bonded over brandy?" Buffy said in amazement as she ran a hand through her hair.  
  
"I seem to do a lot of that. First Anya, then Riley, Xander then you." Spike said easily as he finished telling her the events which led to he and Xander becoming friends.  
  
Buffy sat up. "Anya and Riley?" she questioned.  
  
"Those are stories for another time. They happened while you were alive." Spike looked at the clock on the wall. It was gone midnight. "Didn't realize the time," he said and stood up. "Your headache is better then?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, thank you." Buffy said faintly. He was leaving? Now?  
  
"Well, I'd better - " Spike reached for his jacket lying on the far end of the couch.  
  
"Stay." Buffy said suddenly.  
  
Spike stood up in surprise and stared at her. "Buffy -" he began.  
  
"Spike. I've been stupid." She stood and faced him. "I've been pushing you away all this time thinking that my friends would never accept you, and now I found out that they already have." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly.  
  
Spike gazed down at her face and remained silent.  
  
"I've been pushing you away and using them as my excuse," she continued, looking down at her hands. "and using you as an outlet. The same way Dawn did."  
  
"That's what I'm here for." Spike said simply.  
  
"No, no it's not all you're here for." Buffy whispered. She ran her hands up his t-shirt and rested her palms flat against his chest. "Since I got back, you have been my friend and confidant, my enemy, and my lover." She looked up into his eyes. "and you never left me, not even when I left you. I understand better now, and I'm sorry." Tears began to form in her eyes again.  
  
Spike's brow furrowed. "Sorry? For what, love?" he asked, stroking her hair.  
  
"For being a total bingo to you." She smiled. "I'm sorry." She leaned up and met his lips with her own.  
  
"Motherfunhouse," Spike murmured against her mouth as she pulled him down to the couch.  
  
The End!!  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
If any of you are familiar with BAPS, then you'll understand where the name "Bloody Awful Poet Society" comes into play. It's a wonderful website filled with a great community of people. My little homage to the home of "Action Spike Theater".  
  
Also, I've been toying with the idea of adding an NC-17 ending. I've never written one before, but I had so much fun writing this, I'd be up for the challenge if there's any interest. Thanks so much for all the encouragement and constructive criticism! 


End file.
